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About Literature / Hobbyist hello, i am a lie.22/Male/Canada Recent Activity
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Literature
05.04.18
i didn't sleep with you
on my bedside table
because i only wanted
to look,
i did it because
i didn't know how else
to love you.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 5 0
Literature
(30/30) five tips on surviving the apocalypse.
i.
bare your teeth, don’t
back down, ignore every
instinct to flee.  remember:
you are a monster too.
ii.
there is something angry
inside yourself, you just haven’t
freed it yet.  when the fire
bubbles up,
let it ignite your chest, fight
until you have no skin left
on your knuckles.
iii.
sometimes the quiet is violent.
know this now, because there
will be days when you’re sick
with it.  there will be no howl
inside you or anything else.  be
prepared for it, because this can end
you as much as anything else can.
iv.
when you can’t walk forward,
when you can’t limp or crawl or
drag yourself along the parched
earth, remember
that sometimes it’s okay to lay down
for a little while.
v.
don’t worry about the world ending.
it’s ended for me many times before,
and i’ve always woken up.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 8 7
Literature
(29/30)
oh, well i guess i should’ve
named you
before i stuck you out on
the lawn,
but please know that the
‘free’ sign
was written out of some sort
of love,
i think, i don’t know, all i know
is that you
left paper cuts, and i just can’t
have that right now.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 5 2
Literature
(28/30) i bet i'll hear you, someday.
darling i
have never needed to fuck
but with you,
lord, my words
have never tasted as sweet
as when they were on
your tongue, or clenched
in your fingers
or pressed between your thighs,
and i've never really
loved spoken word but
i'd listen to you gasp
lines upon lines crafted out of
cello strings
if it meant you'd spare me
another hour of your time.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 6 4
Literature
(27/30) green.
so, i heard they made batteries
out of leaves,
and i heard they could glue them
to the trees,
and i heard that could save the earth,
and what a funny saying, because
it’s us that’s killing her,
or ourselves, rather, because
she survived without us,
and she’ll do it again, this is
all just a mad scramble
to undo something
to save our own skins but
isn’t that the nature of mankind,
anyways?
sometimes, when i think of you,
i think of you as the only person
in the world, but me?
i’m the earth.  i lived before you.
i’ll do it when you’re gone.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 6 0
Literature
(26/30) the harvest.
i’m sorry, but
i still taste like iron
even though i haven’t bled
in years, don’t
take it so personally.  i’m
sure the next heart
you sink your teeth into
will yield, but i
haven’t bore fruit
since the rain
stopped coming
down.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 7 2
Literature
(25/30) night, owl.
all these bones
want to do is
sleep, all i want
is to know how
to lay myself down,
where to put
a break
in a poem, when
all the bees
will come home
and let their
wings down,
how the birds
learn to sing
so early in the morning.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 7 4
Literature
(24/30)
and we find ourselves crouched in the forest on the stairs that ascend into nothing.  and i hold
you and hold you but you don’t become any more tangible.  the leaves smell like new rubber.  
the shopping mall smells like pine.  i wish i could show you this but you haven’t had eyes in
years, and i haven’t had arms in years.  vile mind, will you not let me have this?  leave me in my
ashes, collect me to stardust.  maybe there’s a reason i only write about space and bones;
maybe i’m made of something else.  maybe i just want to belong.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 3 3
Literature
(23/30) arsonal warfare.
sometimes, when i
look for my mind, i
find him
hiding a lit molotov
behind his back.
he says sorry,
were you looking
for something

and all i can do is
shake my head and
no, only you, only
you
and he’ll smile.
sometimes, when i
look for my mind, i
reach inward
and find nothing, and
somehow, that’s worse.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 5 0
Literature
(22/30)
i forgot to miss you today.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 5 0
Literature
(21/30) nobody, not even the rain.
and when you meet me on the street corner, i leave you in the doorway on the way there.  i wish
i could tell you that the walk over is nice but it isn’t; the rain’s cold hands don’t hold me like they
used to, she hasn’t told me she loves me in years.  and you twist your tongue around another
cold lie that tastes like someone else’s cigarette smoke and i smile and smile because in a few
years we’ll be dust anyways.  dust is dust; it doesn’t matter what kind of person they were
before they live in another’s lungs.  i hold deceit like an old lover and let him sigh in my ear.  is
this arousal or blood; is this love or is it failure.  you hold your hand out and put it on my leg and
i don’t even acknowledge it.  when did it get like this, do you remember?  dear lord; i hope my
ashes are holy enough you can taste them at the back of your tongue; i hope that this, what i’m
doing now, doesn
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 5 0
Literature
(20/30) broken, brave.
i wish
i could trade
in my skin
for clouds
of stardust,
lose myself
in the pillars
of creation,
breathe in
the nothing
and pretend
that nothing
ever hurt me.
in five billion
years, the sun
will eat us all,
so what’s
a few moments
early, in the
grade scheme
of everything?
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 5 3
Literature
(19/30) gargoyle.
i was not born a monster,
that much i know
is true.
but if that’s true, when
did i metamorphosize?
was it when the flames
licked my eyes
and told me to burn?
or was it when you sculpted
my horns from the
ashes and said go.
we don’t want you
here.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 5 0
Literature
(18/30) igneous.
you, like the northern lights,
only exist because you are trying
to protect someone else.
it’s not a bad thing, you are a
bucket list being for as many people
as i can count, but i know that
it burns, keeping the sun out,
letting the people who want to
use you safe, even if it means
wearing away at yourself like
rainwater on the bedrock
of yourself.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 6 7
Literature
(17/30) trenches.
today i have no story to tell.  today, i open my mouth and seawater spills out, butterfly wings
drowned in salt water.  once, i saved a moth from the pacific.  once, i could pluck the words so
elegantly from the surface of my tongue.  today i cut myself open and only air rushes out.  could
i find something, someday, to fill me?  or will the ocean persist at the back of my throat like
someone long lost that i can’t quite remember the face of?
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 5 0
Literature
(16/30)
dear
man on the street corner,
man in the fast car,
man in the dark alley late at night,
man flirting with the barista,
man following me down the street,
man backing me into a corner until i have to pull out the knife,
if you consider
someone less clean
after they are touched,
maybe you should look
at the dirt under your fingernails.
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt
:iconcjoyt:cjoyt 4 2

Favourites

Literature
what always happens when Rome falls
collectively, this is the way
that we decline: Rome fell in a day,
but for a thousand years they said
"we're Romans," and we've all become
the heirs to our demise;
it's been a long time since
we've had a dark age,
but even on the brightest days,
there are some very dark corners.
:iconcreativelycliche:creativelycliche
:iconcreativelycliche:creativelycliche 8 2
Literature
trnsnc
To think of you as a flower
Cut and rinsed in the tub sink
Dressed in ribboned plastic
Sold by eager hands
To present —statue of decay
Frayed firework, muted memory
Of spring— a new and boundless
Afterlife, moonbeam,
Slicing through the wet grass,
Blade spine finding little justice
In those calloused fingers, another
Winered symphony, wince and sing, you
Withered heart, your skin
Still drawing blood.
:iconsuccesswithhonor:successwithhonor
:iconsuccesswithhonor:successwithhonor 8 4
Literature
letters to ghosts, i.
feel the sorrow of these heavy clouds crashing onto me
nostalgia grips my throat; i said, "please, won't you let me leave"
walk into the funeral home, don't know where to put my hands
regret flows through the floorboards on which i stand
this guilt is a weight i can't stand to bear
yet here i am, meeting your eyes as i choke on air
every time you told me sorry,
and asked, "do you forgive me?"
comes flooding back,
& all i ask
is that you understand:
i forgive you,
& i'm sorry, too
i should've been there when the world turned its back on you
i know that i can't blame myself
or hope to change the past,
but i'll stand here, if you need me,
for as long as we'll last
:iconinthespacebetween:inthespacebetween
:iconinthespacebetween:inthespacebetween 18 5
Journal
Best Of NaPoWriMo 2018
:wave: Hey guys! As promised, here is the overall "Best Of" edition for NaPo 2018. :la: Note, some of these may be repeats as some pieces I featured previously are ones I just want to show again. Also, some people may show up more than once. I want to try to include poems from everyone who submitted, so I hope I manage to get everyone in. I'm literally scrolling through every folder and reading to see what strikes me, or what I remember finding striking in the past month. At any rate, you know what to do. :heart:
Best of NaPoWriMo 2018:


Gentle by MysticalPoetburial shroud by Parsat
the yankees bounce back by doodlerTMBond Night by ShadowedAcolyteCraft by ShadowedAcolyteBad Actor by Hades-Flower
s(e)oul by XxFlameFrost101xXNaPo 2018 Days 8-14 by Medoriko
:iconMedoriko:Medoriko
:iconmedoriko:Medoriko 20 17
Journal
My NaPoWriMo 2018 Favorites - Truth
There was a high volume of poems to read this month, and y'all did not disappoint. You gave me a new appreciation for this annual opportunity to write poetry as a community, enabling us to learn from, support, and inspire each other. :heart:
These are all NaPo poems collected in my "Truth" favorites folder: 


NaPoWriMo Day 8: Buds by CherryBerry545streams by Arthisaxiii. mute by xfuture-boundxLittle Creatures by HarperQv i s i o n s by dull-glitter
xviii. when everything's a disaster but you by xfuture-boundxRed Light by ikazonDay 18 NaPoWriMo 2018 by SheDaresxiii. by Glasses-And-Blades(16/30) by cjoyt
let 'em talk by WePushedAngelshell fire boy by WePushedAngels20. if ur reading this i laughed about it later by peaseblossomsthis is not a violent memory by PatchworkLynx
:iconhypermagical:hypermagical
:iconhypermagical:hypermagical 6 17
Journal
Best of NaPo 2018 Week 4
Here you go guys :heart: You know the drill. 
Best of NaPo: Week 4


Sermon by Jade-PandoraPoems 22-28 of Letters by hyung-ie
xxvi. by Glasses-And-Bladesdo you even know you do by hypermagicalNaPoWrimo #28 (2018) by AtypicalLilyDay 2 by MysticalPoet
XXIX. there is no fear in love by philologieRa'ad by noorelvendreaming by creativelyclicheand the ocean was deep blue by StarryStarrySky7267
NaPoWriMo Day 25: Light Pollution by CherryBerry545The war of the unsheathed weapons(30/30) by oviedomedinaBlurry Sky by Ladnavarxxvii. don't you know you can't win them all by xfuture-boundx
Napowrimo 2018 Week 4 by Darkfang8901NaPoWriMo Day 26 - And I Dont Know Why by EnzymeDeviceDay 25. Filler 2 by brodskalesNaPo 2018 Days 22-30 by Medoriko
I'll be posting a "Best of NaPo 2018" overall edition this week as well, so keep your eyes peeled for that. 
:heart:
:iconNaPoWriMo: 
:iconMedoriko:Medoriko
:iconmedoriko:Medoriko 21 16
Journal
Congrat to all my NaPo Poets!
This month has reminded me of what we all are capable of, individually and as a community. I forgot how much I missed this community while I've been away, so I'll be sticking around for the rest of the year! Going to try to write at least something once a week... we'll see how the momentum keeps up though! 
I'm passing on some of my favorite poems from the second half of NaPo, or ones that I missed the first time around. Please consider giving them a read! 
Feel free to give me a shout if you want a critique on something, or if you just want to say hi. Keep on writing, friends! :heart: 
          
          
:icondull-glitter:dull-glitter
:icondull-glitter:dull-glitter 21 22
Literature
in my youth i lived / in oblivion
everything is still a math problem.
i.   two scorpions in a bottle
the first one i nicknamed icarus, the
second i waited until she was dead
to name her / and by then
i was too late.
everything is quasi una fantasia, almost a
dream, but there is no such thing
as a sleeping poet, so i must be
hallucinating / elucidating the truth
behind the shadows of my youth.
ii.   bottle full of venom
so i drew my heart with dry erase marker
but the dust collecting on the picture frame
is hardly part of the sketch.
when i was younger, too, all i knew how to
doodle were cats; now i use a camera
to capture a portrait of a cat eating a flower,
of a copperhead, diamondback, cottonmouth
from a distance because no /
hell no i won't admit that i'm afraid of myself,
no sooner than i might have ornithophobia
and befriend a falcon / just show me a
good story about treble haunting,
hunting for trouble at hour xvi and
a half / don't you know the best time
for cruelty is the peak of t
:iconPatchworkLynx:PatchworkLynx
:iconpatchworklynx:PatchworkLynx 20 10
Literature
30. and it answered all i asked
when i wanted The Words
i walked deeper. right out
of the water        and into
the dream: and
they waited for me
circled up
when i called,
cozied close     while
i trailed through
the theme
and what boomeranged
back to my chest was     just what i
bloomed the best from --
body as
vessel as
muse, for all
the charm within
this chance, the choice
to Choose. so I?    chose
roots. love roosting
in my throat with
new warm feathers.
and, finally,
Poem
as Home.
:iconpeaseblossoms:peaseblossoms
:iconpeaseblossoms:peaseblossoms 15 6
Literature
planting 5% complete
everything smells like dirt
tilled ground freshly unfrozen
dust in the air clouds the horizon
the sunsets more vivid
there’s a breathable fungus I’ve read about
I worry the soiled air will invade my lungs
mississippi valley ground gain sentience in me
still it’s sweeter than the scent of snow
driving along quiet roads
there are so many tractors lit up
trawling late into the night
making up for lost springtime
:icondull-glitter:dull-glitter
:icondull-glitter:dull-glitter 3 0
Literature
on the hunt
& your skin was like mine of course, guilty of trespass.
to be inside of something & not worry if you are welcome
is a blessing that only comes with arrogance. or amnesia.
the way freckles dance on your face when you laugh with or at
my lack of better judgement is something like this.
see what i’ve turned away from: the interstate, the chickenwire fence
& all the guilt they were built on, or in place of.
say the fact that we are existing atop all these bones is a testament to this.
say if you are not there to suck out the last bits of marrow from our collective kill
there just will be another desperate animal coming out of the forest to take your place.
:iconsuccesswithhonor:successwithhonor
:iconsuccesswithhonor:successwithhonor 6 0
Literature
29. what's the deal with despereaux
think i'm just one
phloem-mouthed
mouse pounce
from your
horticulture now / cos
Music? muzzled underneath
ur mattress? it's more likely
than u meant: & that's the light
i think it's like / to love u
so in the absence of it
i'll scrap for the rest
of the sugared old
story. for the rasp
of ur one soupspoon sound.
i swear to god
i'll fuckin drown
between box springs
and red string
if i have to
i'd do anything
for honey in
the Hope
:iconpeaseblossoms:peaseblossoms
:iconpeaseblossoms:peaseblossoms 17 8
Literature
Alliterative Exhilaration
I'll spin stories out of sweet sugar,
Seek satisfaction in our sorrow, 
And sing songs about our sadness.
Let's share stories about our strength,
As if we knew how to soar in the sky
Like songbirds at sunrise.
Spend shivery nights beneath the stars,
Saying sorry for all those sunsets we didn't sleep.
:iconkuku88:kuku88
:iconkuku88:kuku88 6 0
Journal
Best of NaPo 2018 Week 3
Here you go :giggle: Now that Week 2 AND 3 are now posted, we're all caught up.
Quick note! Don't forget, if you're trying to participate in the NaPo Commenting Contest (which honestly you should) any pieces featured on Challenge winner journals  AND pieces featured in my weekly "Best Of" (like this one) count for double points. So keep that in mind. They're all out to get me... If you do comment on these for that purpose, try to remember to star those when you note the group with your comments at the end of the month! 
For more info, see here: NaPo Comment Contest!
You know the drill! Take a gander and show some love below. :heart:
Best of NaPo: Week 3

:iconMedoriko:Medoriko
:iconmedoriko:Medoriko 25 16
Journal
Best of NaPo 2018 Week...2?
I guess I didn't do a "Best of Week 2?" :lmao: Like, I could have sworn I did. :faint: So! I will post Week 2 right now, and I will do Week 3 tomorrow. Also, to make up for this I'll try to make both features longer this time :) And maybe by then I will find where my brain went. :lol: 
Quick note! Don't forget, if you're trying to participate in the NaPo Commenting Contest (which honestly you should) any pieces featured on Challenge winner journals  AND pieces featured in my weekly "Best Of" (like this one) count for double points. So keep that in mind. They're all out to get me... If you do comment on these for that purpose, try to remember to star those when you note the group with your comments at the end of the month! 
For more info, see here: NaPo Comment Contest!
Anyway, you know the deal. Show these guys some love. :love:
Best of NaPo 2018:
:iconMedoriko:Medoriko
:iconmedoriko:Medoriko 21 19
Journal
NaPo Favorites!
Guys, I can't believe we only have a week and a half left of NaPo!
I'm loving it so far on my first time around. Still not sure how many of my things are decent, but I'm pretty happy with producing more at the very least. :D 
I have so many favorites I've found from these last few weeks... Just going to drop a few of them here! You should definitely check out all of these guys! :heart: 
   
   
    
  gelous by gliitchlord (14/30) marrow. by cjoyt 
12. rebel complex by peaseblossoms Sleeping Alone by ikazon to an unknown now by nawkaman 
great white shark. by Kittify xi. petered out by xfuture-boundx the things history has taught you by betwixtthepages 
Can't wait t
:icondull-glitter:dull-glitter
:icondull-glitter:dull-glitter 9 27

Activity


i can't???  believe this???  i have never EVER even thought that this could happen.  i know it's not a publication but i dunno, to me, it's a great step in that direction, as well as a leap for my self esteem.  wow.  just wow.  i don't really know what to say other than thank you thank you SO much to successwithhonor i have the biggest heart eyes for you right now

(1/30) haunt.sorry
i buried your best
friend in the front yard,
sorry
tulips sprung
from their caving ribs,
sorry
i lived there too.


daily deviation piece.  dang, ain't that a thing?
  • Listening to: you are the moon - the hush sound
i didn't sleep with you
on my bedside table
because i only wanted
to look,

i did it because
i didn't know how else

to love you.
9 deviations
i honestly can't believe i finished this

(1/30) haunt.sorry
i buried your best
friend in the front yard,
sorry
tulips sprung
from their caving ribs,
sorry
i lived there too.
  (2/30) boys/boys.and you’ll be sitting next to them,
and you’ll want to tell them you love them
but you can’t,
because there’s nothing worse
than the raindrops on your window
then all you want is to go outside,
nothing worse when you can claw
and claw at your chest and come up
bloodless.  your parents once told you
they’d rather have a dead son
than a queer one, and you’ve half
a mind to give them what they want.
  (3/30) rednecks watch the apocalypse.do you think it’ll hurt?  not any more than holdin’ your hand does.  and what does that feel like?  you know when you’re wearin’ shorts and the grass is real long and it cuts up your legs?  yeah.  it’s kinda like that but on the inside.  so why do you do it?  same reason you do, i guess.  and why do i do it?  because you love me.  and how do you know?  ‘cause you’re sittin’ here, watchin’ the sky fall down, and you haven’t moved away, not once.  it’s quieter than i imagined.  yeah, but so are you.  (4/30) hickory sticks.sweet tooth smile,
you have fingers
that could pluck the
ivory out of me.
angel wings for
lungs, you flutter
in and out of my mind
like a memory
i just can’t forget,
and maybe if i wanted
to i could let
you go, but i don’t
so i wont,
and darling,
sweetheart,
sorry i’m late,
but you were
underneath my skin
and i couldn’t
leave with you.
  (5/30) glare.this icarus love,
too much,
too close,
wax-faced and dripping,
i know these words
will be gone in the morning.
so will you.
and i wish i had
something better to say
other than
goodbye;
sorry.
halfway between wanting
you back
and digging my grave.
 
(6/30) liminal.i.
i stare in the mirror
of a motel
with paisley drapes
and peeling paint,
and a blank post-it
note looks back at me.
the car
is in the back lot and
when we get in, you
ask me if she’ll make it
to the next stop.
i tell you no and start the engine.
ii.
it’s one thing
to love the stars,
it’s another
to feel weightless,
to feel like the
only way you’re going
to be okay
is to shed your skin,
dig your fingers
into your bones
and hold on for dear life.
there’s iron
in my blood,
the same thing
making up stars,
forged into blades,
but i feel so vulnerable
with you, and your feet
on the dash,
going nowhere
but everywhere.
iii.
i have black coal
smudged under both eyes
like if i can somehow
emulate the pain,
bruises like newsprint
spelling out all the ways
you’ve hurt me, maybe
someone will listen.
the engine picks up.
the desert stretches
out in front of us, and
i can’t scrape the sand
from my mouth.
  (7/30) great, wide, blue.and we’ll ride
the horses until their
backs become our throats,
until they forget they
are horses and
we forget we are people
and
the hay slivers melt
into something sweeter.
they say we’ll rule
the world, once it’s over,
and i hope
we do it with kindness,
the same way i’ve held
a wilting green bean
between my fingers
and pressed a bottle
to a foal’s lips
when her mother
no longer wanted her.
oh, darling,
can you imagine?
the great wide blue
with no one to stop us?
what gaia’s we’d be,
already knowing how
to till tough dirt
and how to teach
others how to love us.
  (8/30) transmission error.home
is somewhere i
haven’t slept in
four years.
i wonder,
do you still rattle
in your sleep?
or has someone
else stuck a wrench
in your windpipe.
  (9/30) hindsight.i hope,
when you look back,
you remember me
as you saw me
and not as
i saw myself.
  (10/30) 'cause sweetheart, you hurt me.if there was
another allegory for this,
i’m sure i’d use it,
but darling
you shine brighter
than any sun,
i just wish
you didn’t burn like one.
 
(11/30) flashback.i can’t leave my
past behind because
it follows me.
not in the memory
sort of way, but
in the way
that my body
is always there
to remind me of
what i am
and what i could
have been.
my lungs rattle
when i breath and
my ribs crack
when i walk and
my thighs hurt
where the needle
sunk into my flesh
and i guess i’m trying
to make it better
but my brain is stuck
on it like old glue
on my fingers
and i find myself
wishing
to go back
and also never return.
  (12/30) sunrise over mt. baker.i’ve seen a castle in glasgow
and the cathedrals in london,
and i think about how my blood
runs there like groundwater,
but today, i looked out to the rockies,
and i breathed in the cold april air,
and i realized that if everything ended
all at once, i’d want to be here.
  (13/30) eighteen twelve.today, i open my heart up and no blood spews forth.  today, i watch as people set fires to put
them out, and i wonder if this is how it’ll always be.  history has a lot of stories and none of them
will ever be ours, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get written.  will we look back at this in twenty
years like how i did yesterday?  or will we even live that long?
it is not often that i wish to go back into the past; it was not a place built for people like me.  but i
think, if i could hold the charade long enough, i’d love to watch the white paint peel under the
furious lick of flames.  it would be future retribution, i think.  revenge for the things yet to come.
  (14/30) marrow.sometimes,
when no one’s looking,
i climb up the mountain,
and pull my bones out
to look at them, one
at a time.  and i wish
you could see them.
see how ashamedly white,
how they hold
the stuff keeping me
alive in their walls.  tell
me, have you ever done
something so significant?
or do you sit there
and beat
like the blood in your veins.
  (15/30) singularities.hello darling,
i’m sorry i couldn’t pull
you out of the lake,
or hold you until you
were warm, take the
heat out of me and push
it into your lungs until
you could gasp again.
it’s days like today
that i think that space
would’ve been the perfect
place to love you.
we would both be cold
to the bone, and if we could
manage to float
close to a black hole,
time would stop completely,
and i would never
have to watch you go.
 
(16/30)dear
man on the street corner,
man in the fast car,
man in the dark alley late at night,
man flirting with the barista,
man following me down the street,
man backing me into a corner until i have to pull out the knife,
if you consider
someone less clean
after they are touched,
maybe you should look
at the dirt under your fingernails.
  (17/30) trenches.today i have no story to tell.  today, i open my mouth and seawater spills out, butterfly wings
drowned in salt water.  once, i saved a moth from the pacific.  once, i could pluck the words so
elegantly from the surface of my tongue.  today i cut myself open and only air rushes out.  could
i find something, someday, to fill me?  or will the ocean persist at the back of my throat like
someone long lost that i can’t quite remember the face of?
  (18/30) igneous.you, like the northern lights,
only exist because you are trying
to protect someone else.
it’s not a bad thing, you are a
bucket list being for as many people
as i can count, but i know that
it burns, keeping the sun out,
letting the people who want to
use you safe, even if it means
wearing away at yourself like
rainwater on the bedrock
of yourself.
  (19/30) gargoyle.i was not born a monster,
that much i know
is true.
but if that’s true, when
did i metamorphosize?
was it when the flames
licked my eyes
and told me to burn?
or was it when you sculpted
my horns from the
ashes and said go.
we don’t want you
here.
  (20/30) broken, brave.i wish
i could trade
in my skin
for clouds
of stardust,
lose myself
in the pillars
of creation,
breathe in
the nothing
and pretend
that nothing
ever hurt me.
in five billion
years, the sun
will eat us all,
so what’s
a few moments
early, in the
grade scheme
of everything?
 
(21/30) nobody, not even the rain.and when you meet me on the street corner, i leave you in the doorway on the way there.  i wish
i could tell you that the walk over is nice but it isn’t; the rain’s cold hands don’t hold me like they
used to, she hasn’t told me she loves me in years.  and you twist your tongue around another
cold lie that tastes like someone else’s cigarette smoke and i smile and smile because in a few
years we’ll be dust anyways.  dust is dust; it doesn’t matter what kind of person they were
before they live in another’s lungs.  i hold deceit like an old lover and let him sigh in my ear.  is
this arousal or blood; is this love or is it failure.  you hold your hand out and put it on my leg and
i don’t even acknowledge it.  when did it get like this, do you remember?  dear lord; i hope my
ashes are holy enough you can taste them at the back of your tongue; i hope that this, what i’m
doing now, doesn
  (22/30)i forgot to miss you today.  (23/30) arsonal warfare.sometimes, when i
look for my mind, i
find him
hiding a lit molotov
behind his back.
he says sorry,
were you looking
for something

and all i can do is
shake my head and
no, only you, only
you
and he’ll smile.
sometimes, when i
look for my mind, i
reach inward
and find nothing, and
somehow, that’s worse.
  (24/30)and we find ourselves crouched in the forest on the stairs that ascend into nothing.  and i hold
you and hold you but you don’t become any more tangible.  the leaves smell like new rubber.  
the shopping mall smells like pine.  i wish i could show you this but you haven’t had eyes in
years, and i haven’t had arms in years.  vile mind, will you not let me have this?  leave me in my
ashes, collect me to stardust.  maybe there’s a reason i only write about space and bones;
maybe i’m made of something else.  maybe i just want to belong.
  (25/30) night, owl.all these bones
want to do is
sleep, all i want
is to know how
to lay myself down,
where to put
a break
in a poem, when
all the bees
will come home
and let their
wings down,
how the birds
learn to sing
so early in the morning.
 
(26/30) the harvest.i’m sorry, but
i still taste like iron
even though i haven’t bled
in years, don’t
take it so personally.  i’m
sure the next heart
you sink your teeth into
will yield, but i
haven’t bore fruit
since the rain
stopped coming
down.
  (27/30) green.so, i heard the made batteries
out of leaves,
and i heard they could glue them
to the trees,
and i heard that could save the earth,
and what a funny saying, because
it’s us that’s killing her,
or ourselves, rather, because
she survived without us,
and she’ll do it again, this is
all just a mad scramble
to undo something
to save our own skins but
isn’t that the nature of mankind,
anyways?
sometimes, when i think of you,
i think of you as the only person
in the world, but me?
i’m the earth.  i lived before you.
i’ll do it when you’re gone.
  (28/30) i bet i'll hear you, someday.darling i
have never needed to fuck
but with you,
lord, my words
have never tasted as sweet
as when they were on
your tongue, or clenched
in your fingers
or pressed between your thighs,
and i've never really
loved spoken word but
i'd listen to you gasp
lines upon lines crafted out of
cello strings
if it meant you'd spare me
another hour of your time.
  (29/30)oh, well i guess i should’ve
named you
before i stuck you out on
the lawn,
but please know that the
‘free’ sign
was written out of some sort
of love,
i think, i don’t know, all i know
is that you
left paper cuts, and i just can’t
have that right now.
  (30/30) five tips on surviving the apocalypse.i.
bare your teeth, don’t
back down, ignore every
instinct to flee.  remember:
you are a monster too.
ii.
there is something angry
inside yourself, you just haven’t
freed it yet.  when the fire
bubbles up,
let it ignite your chest, fight
until you have no skin left
on your knuckles.
iii.
sometimes the quiet is violent.
know this now, because there
will be days when you’re sick
with it.  there will be no howl
inside you or anything else.  be
prepared for it, because this can end
you as much as anything else can.
iv.
when you can’t walk forward,
when you can’t limp or crawl or
drag yourself along the parched
earth, remember
that sometimes it’s okay to lay down
for a little while.
v.
don’t worry about the world ending.
it’s ended for me many times before,
and i’ve always woken up.
 

alright so i'm about to get sappy on your asses buckle up.  i've never done napo before because i have??  a lot of insecurity when it comes to my writing.  i had a really horrid writing teacher in high school and she made me feel like i was no good?  honestly there's a HUGE gap in my gallery because i just.  stopped writing after i graduated because i thought i was bad??  i still feel like i'm not really up to par with the other people in this community and that's okay!  maybe i'm not but i like writing and i'm gonna do it!

but i'm glad i did it and got back in the da writing community because you guys???  are honestly awesome???  and my confidence has been given a little boost because i know some of the work i put out is not my best (most of this stuff was written in like.  five minutes okay i'm a Disaster) but i still felt like??  good???  i dunno how to put it other than like i love you guys and i have so many new, talented watchers that i love and cherish and i know i am the WORST at commenting but i read each and every thing y'all have written and most of you were doing this during your exam period and wow???  i could never do that.  you guys are magic.

so i can't say that i'll be nearly anywhere as active as i was during this month, but i think i'll be writing more???  i'm still settling into the fact that yes, my style is hella weird (especially in prose) but i accept that now, but i'm gonna have to do some work??  not trying to censor myself.  this month has been really, REALLY good for me i think, though.  congrats to everyone who participated, even if you fell of the wagon, even if you just read everything you could get your hands on.  i love you and your work and i'm so glad to be here!!!

(also i'm gonna hopefully get a little tiny core membership to change my username because i've had this one since i was twelve and it has a bit of my birth name in it and i'm Not About It so don't freak out!!!  if i am suddenly gone)

thank you all so much!!  i love y'all,

caly.
  • Listening to: this is gospel (triple layered)
i.

bare your teeth, don’t
back down, ignore every
instinct to flee.  remember:
you are a monster too.

ii.

there is something angry
inside yourself, you just haven’t
freed it yet.  when the fire
bubbles up,

let it ignite your chest, fight
until you have no skin left
on your knuckles.

iii.

sometimes the quiet is violent.
know this now, because there
will be days when you’re sick
with it.  there will be no howl

inside you or anything else.  be
prepared for it, because this can end
you as much as anything else can.

iv.

when you can’t walk forward,
when you can’t limp or crawl or
drag yourself along the parched
earth, remember

that sometimes it’s okay to lay down
for a little while.

v.

don’t worry about the world ending.
it’s ended for me many times before,
and i’ve always woken up.

deviantID

cjoyt
hello, i am a lie.
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Canada
for everything you have missed,
you have gained something else;
and for everything you gain,
you lose something else.

it is about your outlook on life.
you can either regret or rejoice.

Current Residence: canada
deviantWEAR sizing preference: something that fits...
Print preference: free...oh wait...
Favourite genre of music: anything
Favourite photographer: robin duncin
Interests
i can't???  believe this???  i have never EVER even thought that this could happen.  i know it's not a publication but i dunno, to me, it's a great step in that direction, as well as a leap for my self esteem.  wow.  just wow.  i don't really know what to say other than thank you thank you SO much to successwithhonor i have the biggest heart eyes for you right now

(1/30) haunt.sorry
i buried your best
friend in the front yard,
sorry
tulips sprung
from their caving ribs,
sorry
i lived there too.


daily deviation piece.  dang, ain't that a thing?
  • Listening to: you are the moon - the hush sound

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:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2018
Thank you for the watch! :ahoy: I appreciate it. 
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:iconcjoyt:
cjoyt Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
same to you!!
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:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2018
(:
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:icondull-glitter:
dull-glitter Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2018   Writer
Thank you for the watch! :heart: I always love seeing your poetry! 
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:iconcjoyt:
cjoyt Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much, you rock c:
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:iconpatchworklynx:
PatchworkLynx Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2018   Writer
thank you so much for the watch! your poetry is wonderful! <3
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:iconcjoyt:
cjoyt Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconpolaranemone:
PolarAnemone Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so glad I came across your poetry. You have a real talent, please never stop writing.
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:iconcjoyt:
cjoyt Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
jeez, thank you so much!  that means a lot to me, really c:
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:iconsummer-peaches:
Summer-Peaches Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahhh happy birthday!! I hope you have an amazing day!!! :la:
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